How to have intercourse under a tree

Having intercourse under a tree isn’t so hard. But there are a few things to consider

  1. if you’re having intercourse under a tree then you’re probably outside and you might want a blanket so ants don’t crawl all up in between the parts that count and cause little anty ouch nibbles.
  2. intercourse under a tree – and being outside – also means that you’re in public. Now how public is a thing to consider. Are you under a tree in a busy city park or under a tree in bumble fug, miles away from any other folks who might be able to watch. ( and do you want the, to be able to watch? Does your partner?
  3. you have some interesting position options under a tree. Like standing, or laying down, or butt ox propped up against some chewy bark making things a little chafed. And there’s always limbs to hold onto as you swing your limbs or have limbs swung into you….
  4. Butt Ox

  5. and finally. Does the tree want to join in? After all the tree doesn’t have too many options, being that he can’t just walk across the way and impose his trunk on another tree
  6. And did you bring protection for the tree’s twig?

    See, having intercourse under a tree could be trickier than it sounds….

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